2010-06-01 - Fumble

Life aboard the Minerva has been...interesting.

That is to say, Sarah Zabiarov has found her new life within the A-LAWS to be less-than satisfying, no thanks to the follies of her colleagues and general disarray of her subordinates. It's stressful, it's incredibly frustrating and she generally feels like a babysitter. Yet, this is her life. She cannot change it.

Nor would she, because it keeps her close to /that/ man.

Today, however, Sarah tries desperately to make an exception; rather than focus on work, she has opted instead to hide away and keep low for most of her time off. Though still very much in A-LAWS standard-issue teal-blue uniform, the young woman has not gone out of her way to make her whereabouts known to her superiors. So then, where does Sarah even /go/?

The indoor shooting range. You can thank 'Alex Dino' for her new hobby.

An hour after entering, Sarah quietly exits, small standard-issue pistol tucked neatly into the hip holster beneath the 'skirt' of her uniform. Behind her the door hisses shut, and without any real thought given to who may be around, she simply goes about on her way.

Leo Stenbuck is amazed how much of a waste this trip has turned out to be.

Finally, after a good three months, he worked up the nerve to talk to Sarah again. After the cataclysmic disaster that was their last conversation, he's been terrified of doing so, even after having been prompted by their Master.

The shape things have been in lately certainly hasn't helped.

But, for whatever reason, he mustered up the courage to do it. He bullshitted a reason to visit the Minerva - which was, blessedly, easy - and, upon arriving, went to seek out Sarah, who...

... was nowhere to be found. /Fantastic./ He's been searching the ship for the last half an hour, growing increasingly frustrated. So frustrated, in fact, that for the last few minutes, he's been strongly considering just searching out 'Rei Ayanami', instead.

That didn't last long. He hasn't found /that/ much courage.

So instead, he's elected to simply leave and sulk. This necessitates an elevator ride, which is just ending as we join our ~*~intrepid hero~*~. The elevator goes 'ding', the doors open, and Leo steps out of the elevator...

... and almost directly into Sarah Zabiarov.

Leo is overwhelmed by indignance of the 'hey, watch it' variety for about a third of a second before he realizes who he just almost collided with, at which point he immediately turns into some sort of space retard. "Bg-uh-S-Sarah," he stammers, suddenly dropping his gaze to stare at the floor.

Nearly being collided into is certainly a surprise for Sarah.

Fortunately, the young Newtype is both aware AND a Newtype, which makes her a bit more preemptively aware than Leo upon exiting the elevator. A quick side-step and a twist of her torso allow her to narrowly miss being crashed into. For the briefest of moments, the young woman finds herself a bit agitated.

Then, upon realizing just /who/ nearly steps into her...

Well, things just get a little awkward.

Leo Stenbuck's gaze averts as he stammers the young woman's name. Sarah, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of the Captain; looking to the young man, she observes his behavior quietly. Even after he says her name she remains quiet for a moment.

Then, sharply, the young Lieutenant salutes.

"Captain Stenbuck," she addresses, her tone crisp and formal. "I am surprised to see you aboard the Minerva. If you're looking for Ms. Ayanami, I am not currently aware of her location; however, I am certain one of the superior officers on the bridge can easily locate the Warrant Officer."

Uh oh.

When Sarah salutes, Leo looks up sharply, eyes blinking rapid-fire in obvious surprise. He keeps his expression locked firmly in 'shock' through her little spiel... and then his face falls, and all of a sudden he looks a lot like a kicked puppy.

"You're still mad at me," he says sadly. He opens his mouth to continue, but all he gets out is "I-" before he chokes and takes a sudden step backwards.

He stands there in silence for a second, and then tries again. "I- actually i came to talk to you- but-" he stammers, the color draining from his face. "I-I'm sorry, I- this was a mistake- maybe I should just-"

Despite his babbling, he doesn't take another step backwards, and indeed his entire body stiffens and his legs lock, as if some part of his brain were rebelling against the part that were trying to pussy out.

There's a distant look of surprise when Leo speaks. She's mad at him..?

Rather than deny, Sarah simply remains quiet, her gaze sternly fixed on her superior officer as he speaks. But, rather than speak, Leo simply chokes up and takes a step away from her before he speaks.

Again.

Hooding her gaze discreetly, the young Newtype merely observes the stammering young man before finally drawing her eyes to a close. "No, I am not mad at you," she notes, though her tone is anything but sincere or accommodating to his fears and worries. "And whether it was a mistake to come and talk to me, well..." Shrugging absently, her eyes open as she looks up and meets his gaze firmly.

"That's ultimately up to you to decide."

Half-turning, Sarah looks away. "However, if you /are/ going to leave, I won't stop you, Captain Stenbuck. It'd be a shame, however, for you to take your leave after making the effort to come out to the Minerva. Wouldn't you agree, sir?"

"You are /so/ mad at--" Leo begins, blurting it out without doing such things as 'thinking' first. He cuts himself off befiore he finishes the sentence, of course, and then just sort of stands there and shifts his weight back and forth awkwardly.

She's totally mad at him, he's certain of it. Sure, she isn't really giving any... /indication/ of it, but she definitely is. /Definitely./ Leo forces himself to take a deep breath, and does his best to steel his resolve.

"Alright," he says, speaking a little oddly thanks to the effort of will it's taking to speak at all. "You're- you probably don't want to talk to me, and that's- it's okay, I get it, I just- I want-"

Leo cuts himself off again, puffing his cheeks out in irritation. Why does talking to Sarah make him feel like he's a fourteen year old pussy again? Life is awful, forever.

Leo's insistence only earns him a vaguely-disappointed look from the young woman who, as far as anyone can tell, is speaking sincerely, albeit in terse tones. Her weight shifts from one foot to the other, her hands reaching up to rest upon her hips as she continues to simply observe Leo's odd, awkward behavior.

"Did I say that?" Sarah wonders, blinking her gaze in a slow, distantly surprised fashion. "I don't remember saying that..." Trailing off, the young woman's green eyes shift aside, toward a distant group of passing bridge officers.

"You want what?" she asks, her tone lacking any real emotion or liveliness. It's like she actually took a page out of the Rei book of 'being the most boring human being, ever' or something. She looks on, however, expecting a response.

Leo wilts before Sarah's aggressive neutrality; he clasps his hands together in front of him and fiddles with them, staring down at them so he doesn't have to look at Sarah. He looks less like a (something approximating a) grown-ass man who is a captain in the military, and more like a little kid who's being scolded.

"I wanted... to... apologize," he forces himself to say, slowly and deliberately. "For what... what happened the last time we talked. I... I wasn't trying to upset you, or anything, I just..."

He swallows roughly. "... but... I meant what I said. You don't have to, to say anything, or anything, I get that you don't-- you know-- but-- I just-- I wanted you to know."

And all the while, Sarah continues to look at Leo with an expressionless gaze.

It probably does not help the uneasy young Captain deal with this any easier; in fact, it probably only makes things worse for him. Yet, Sarah does not yield in her seemingly stern and unshakable demeanor; if anything, it probably /fuels/ it in some odd way.

"You wanted to apologize?" she wonders aloud, echoing his sentiment. "For what happened last time we talked?" The young Newtype tilts her head slightly, green eyes again hooding slightly as she seems to let his words sink in. A long, heavy silence falls, and while he insists she need not say anything, that silence is a pregnant pause.

With a soft breath, Sarah sighs.

"Why now?" she wonders, offering the young man a tired expression. "And after everything you've done..? Your behavior...your attitude...the rumors...everything has been so troubling." Sagging her shoulders lightly, the young Newtype shakes her head sadly.

"No, I don't hate you," she notes in a hushed tone. Hesitating for once, she seems uneasy, her shoulders tense beneath her uniform. At her side, gloved hands curl into loose fists.

"I'm just afraid of you," Sarah bluntly admits.

Taking a step back, she finally regards his gaze once more. "I apologize, but..."

It's the truth.

His behavior... the rumors...? Leo looks up again, obviously puzzled... and when Sarah states that she's afraid of him, his expression shifts back to the start of the chain; shock.

"... afraid of me...? But I-- S-Sarah, I--" He takes another step, startling in its suddenness and this time forwards closer to Sarah, and lifts a hand out towards her, as if to touch her shoulder. "--why are you-- I didn't /do/ anything, I--"

Leo's attempt at physical contact dies before it bears fruit, undoubtedly for a great many reasons, the least of which is that his arm simply freezes mid-reach and, after a moment, drops to hang limply at his side.

He stares at Sarah in sullen silence for several seconds, his shoulders and head sagging. Maybe she really isn't mad at him. Maybe she really doesn't hate him. But...

"You think I'm crazy," he accuses quietly.

Leo stammers. Sarah just looks to him with unreadable expression, green eyes fixed on his face as his features shift to shock. When the young Captain steps forward she, by sheer reflex, steps a tiny step back, keeping distance between herself and the young man. A split-second after the briefest look of regret passes her face; another instance later it vanishes.

"Think about your behavior lately," the girl notes in quiet but stern tones. "What you've done. What you've been doing...can you honestly say you've done /nothing/?" Frowning lightly, Sarah's green eyes look away, toward the floor adjacent to her side.

"No, I never said you're crazy," she replies after a momentary silence. "You're just being incredibly reckless. I spoke with Captain Revive, and he agrees." Looking back up, Sarah frowns deeply--the first real expression given since the encounter.

"You're walking on a path of self-destruction, and I cannot help you. I'm sorry, Captain Stenbuck."

Revive? She talked to /Revive?/ Leo can't disguise the look of irritation that flashes across his face, as much as he tries to... and it lingers, as his distress and despair is slowly replaced with frustration.

This is totally unfair, he tells himself. She's not even upset at him for what he /actually/ did, but now fucking, fucking /Revive Revival/ is poisoning her against him? What, just his squadmates wasn't enough for him?!

Should've hit the motherfucker twice.

"'Captain Revive' is an asshole," Leo assures Sarah with a scowl; he lifts his foot to take another step towards her, but ends up just dropping the foot back where it was. He doesn't want Sarah to freak out and mace him, or something, after all.

"I don't-- okay, I admit, I've made some, some mistakes, but I- I'm not /perfect/," Leo babbles. "Sarah, please, you're being- being-"

The moment Leo accuses the Blanc Rival Captain of being 'an asshole,' Sarah's expression shifts to a look of utter surprise--and not the good kind, because 'surprise' quickly gives way to an expression that seems vaguely offended. "I would beg to differ," Sarah notes, her tone discreetly sharp. "Captain Revive was nothing but considerate and kind when we spoke."

Frowning a touch, the young Scirocco adjunct just gives the Jovian boy a level gaze as he considers stepping forward but (perhaps smartly) thinks otherwise. Tilting her head just a touch, Sarah lets her green eyes observe Leo as he babbles.

"Being what?" she wonders, her tone borderline sincere. "Sensible? How else do you expect me to behave when you do things like shout incoherently on secure frequencies and...s-sleep around with your subordinates?" Her nose wrinkles.

"Please, tell me how I should be acting, Captain." Sarcasm is not lost upon Ms. Zabiarov, it seems.

Leo's growing irritation is suddenly joined by a flash of anger. "/First/ of all," he snaps, scowling, "It's not sleeping /around/ if you only sleep with /one/ of them." I mean, /duh./ That's just obvious.

"/Second/ of all," he continues, holding up two fingers to illustrate the fact that this is, indeed, his second point, "I don't see how my, my 'love life' is /any/ business of yours, /especially/ not after you-- you--"

"No," Leo interrupts himself suddenly, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. "No, I'm not doing this. This was obviously a mistake. I'm sorry for wasting your time," the young man scowls, before turning and angrily jabbing a finger at the elevator call button.

When the doors do not immediately open, thanks to the elevator having long since been called elsewhere, Leo mutters something angrily and begins jabbing his finger impatiently at the button.

"It's still fraternization!" Sarah rather suddenly snaps, green eyes wide with muted rage. A split second after she blinks twice, shoulders--once tense--relaxing and settling back. Anger is a contagious emotion--especially when it's someone you care about and want to help. Or is that car/ed/ about..?

When he mentions the incident past, however, Sarah's expression shifts from vaguely angry to looking like she just got slapped across the face with a bat. Reeling slightly, her green eyes go wide before she simply averts her gaze and bites down on her bottom lip hard. How /dare/ he bring that up after she all but apologized for something then that wasn't even really something she should have apologized /for/? How dare he remind her of that--and then rub it all in her face.

The gloved hands at her sides ball into tight fists, shoulders shaking underneath her uniform.

"How dare," she whispers. "...you."

Leo turns his back to her and begins jabbing at the button. Sarah, on the other hand, lifts a hand to her face and begins pacing off hurriedly, trying her darnedest to keep from making a spectacle of crying in public.

It...doesn't really work out for her.

In his anger, Leo almost misses Sarah's reaction... but when she says three simple words and begins fleeing, Leo turns back towards her, suddenly more confused than upset. Why is she--

He's too confused and surprised to actually say anything until Sarah is rounding a corner, and it's pretty much too late... especially since he only manages to weakly croak, "Sarah, wait, I-"

~ding~ The elevator doors slide open behind Leo. He remains standing there, staring after Sarah, for several beats... and then sighs heavily, reaching up to rub at his eyes with one gloved hand. After a moment, he turns and steps sullenly into the elevator, jabbing a finger angrily at one of the buttons.

As the doors slide shut behind Leo, he mutters fervently to himself, "Great job, Leo. This was a great idea, you're a real fuckin' pro."

When the doors open some twenty seconds later, and Leo steps out on another deck of the Minerva, there is a fist-sized dent in the elevator wall.