2010-07-13 - The Superego

Johnny Domino should have taken action against Kaworu Nagisa a lot sooner. The Evangelion pilot had done something to Domino -- cast some inexplicable spell on him -- and if in the past the Agent had doubts, thinking it was all in his head, there were no longer any doubts to be had. There were witnesses during the two boys' last encounter. Noriko Takaya was there, and she was not at all pleased when Johnny was gripped by a bizarre dybbuk, mesmerized the moment he had laid his eyes on the young Nagisa.

But should have, could have, would have... Johnny Domino neglected to address the abnormality that was Kaworu, and that's that. For as attracted as he was to Kaworu whenever the silver-haired youth was around, when Johnny was apart from him, Domino recoiled from every hazy memory he had as if they were the wrong polarity on a magnet. Indeed, despite how obsessed Domino became whenever around the younger boy -- probably BECAUSE of how obsessed he became -- the Agent did his best to not handle the issue more than he thought necessary if at all possible.

Unfortunately, some things were indeed a necessity.

Ever since Cinco Budenda departed to Tokyo-03, Johnny Domino had been keeping tabs on the simple A-LAWS lieutenant. It wasn't anything too obvious, simply using various contacts to spy on Cinco from the shadows and know what kind of trouble the moustached man was (or wasn't) getting himself into.

That's how the Agent knew where to find Cinco.

Domino didn't waste time on any pleasantries when he suddenly showed up at the doorstep where Cinco holed himself in. And for the past five minutes the Agent has been standing there, telling Cinco in a very calm and eloquent manner about Kaworu Nagisa: his utterly empty dossier and nonexistent past, his similarities to Rei Ayanami, and the fact that in their previous encounter, Kaworu mentioned Amuro Ray by name.

"That's right," says Johnny. "Amuro Ray. Not Cinco Budenda. Amuro Ray. He knows about you. I don't know what or... I don't remember what he said to me very clearly. I wasn't exactly myself at the time. It was at an ice cream parlor, and Kaworu did something... ever since I first met him, he did something..." The Agent frowns.

And even though Domino has so far been talking calmly and rationally, Amuro, being a Newtype, would be able to tell the truth: Johnny Domino is scared.

Cinco Budenda has been undercover in Tokyo-03 for the past while, getting a feel for the GeoFront and the various staff members he's been able to identify. So far his attempts to get in have been stymied, first by the woman with the short black hair being a lesbian, and next by the very existence of this Kaji fellow. For the first time in his life, the Newtype is having a hard time charming a woman.

He doesn't like it, but it's forcing him to think outside the box yet again. Cinco still doesn't accept Johnny Domino's insistence that there's no way in to the GeoFront or down to Terminal Dogma; there's no such thing as impossible in his lexicon. Even so, he has to admit that it's been exceptionally difficult.

Domino's contacts are good. Cinco got fleeting feelings of being watched from time to time, but was never able to identify the watcher or find out who they were working for. That, too, made his work harder. And yet, with the terrified young Agent standing on his doorstep, he can hardly be angry. The mirrored aviators, however, render his expression entirely unreadable.

"I see," Cinco replies, once Johnny is finished with his recitation. "So this Kaworu Nagisa has some sort of power over people's minds." He reaches up to stroke at his moustache, frowning. "That is troublesome." A pause. "Anyway, come in. It's no good discussing this in the hallway." He's in a decent hotel. Nothing fancy. Simple and efficient, just like the man himself.

Inside, he takes a seat on one of the two chairs in the room. "So is this Kaworu working with Gendo, or is he an agent of another interest?"

"Don't you know it's rude to talk about people like they're not even there?"

Kaworu Nagisa is leaning against the door. It presumably opened and closed at some point while the two men were speaking, but the noise did not announce itself, and peripheral vision proves to be an unreliable narrator at best. It's as if the boy just manifested, like a bad dream plucked out of Johnny Domino's psyche, but logically, that's not possible.

Kaworu's face lacks its usual knowing smile. Instead, he seems... upset. The pieces of Angelic grace that reside within each of the other man can feel the trouble emanating from him, although it'd be easy to mistake that for the typical hyperempathy of being a Newtype.

Kaworu's hands are in his pockets. His upper lip twitches slightly in a sneer. "You know..."

The silver-haired Evangelion pilot has to pause, breathe. "I think I've let this farce go on long enough."

Once inside the room, Johnny Domino hesitates before sitting down. When he finally sinks into the chair, it comes across as a slow, stiff motion, with no sign that the Agent is actually feeling at ease. Another subtle indication that despite the mask of calm, Domino is very much on edge.

"I don't know," Johnny answers Cinco's question. "I barely know anything about him. The only piece of information out there is that he pilots Evangelion Unit-06. The Evangelion Unit came from the moon, if the records are authentic, but I couldn't dig up the first thing about the pilot."

"I don't know who he is. I don't know /what/ he is. And I don't think I want to find out."

It's too bad, really. Johnny Domino has been playing with fire for far too long. At this point, even if he wanted to back out, he couldn't. In the grand scheme of things, the Agent was as much the mouse as he was the cat.

And in steps Kaworu Nagisa, very much a cat.

Domino's heart skips a beat at the sound of Nagisa's voice. A frightened chill shoots up the young man's spine as his gaze is ripped from Cinco and comes to land on Nagisa. And as he sees the silver-haired boy with his own eyes, the fright is no more.

Johnny Domino is relaxed. His muscles are lax, his body language familiar. There's a wide smile on his face, skin flushed. And if the external changes weren't obvious enough, Cinco Budenda will also be privy to what happens behind the scenes.

The Angel residue, the psychic signature, the AT Field remnants, whatever you want to call it - it comes to life. More than that: the presence, having so far been lying dormant, comes to life with a /vengeance/. The taint that has always made Amuro Ray sick to his stomach overcomes Domino, taking over his being, wrapping itself around the young man like an invisible second skin.

Thin wisps slowly extend out of this dark aura, inching towards Kaworu.

Johnny Domino -- the presence -- is very much attracted to Kaworu Nagisa. There is no question about it. And Domino's tone, instead of being alarmed, is positively elated when he whispers, "He's here."

The sound of the shot coincides with the moment the first syllable escapes Kaworu's elfin mouth. The muzzle flash reflects blinding white in the mirrored lenses of the Newtype's aviators. Smoke coils lazily from the barrel of the pistol in the aftermath of all that sound and fury... signifying, no doubt, nothing.

"Yes," Cinco replies, to Johnny's elated exclamation. "I can see that."

Slowly, Cinco lowers the gun. A part of him-- an alien part-- strives towards the silver-haired nymph with all the patience of a drunk quarterback on prom night, but the larger part of his self holds it back. Struggling against that unholy lust, working to keep the Newtype's mind his own. It's not easy... but he is, after all, a legend.

Amuro Ray removes the sunglasses with his free hand, eyes squinting in the sudden light of the hotel room. The moustache looks patently ridiculous without the blank lenses above it, but fashion has never been the White Devil's strong suite. "So... you're Kaworu Nagisa," he growls. Sweat beads on his forehead, trickles down his back, down his ribs, from the sheer effort of resisting the lithe boy's spell. Hold on. Hold on. It's a trick. It's a trap.

"I think I can guess, now, why there aren't any files on you."

The gunshot doesn't even faze Kaworu. There are no impact wounds in the wall behind him, nor on his body. There's only the spent, hot slug on the ground, ruining that spot of carpet, and the afterglow of an AT Field shimmering into existence in front of the boy.

Like a spotlight being shone into the faces of his company. Like it was nothing.

"Can you now?" Kaworu replies coldly to Amuro Ray, sounding as if he could not care one atom less about what the Newtype ace thinks. He doesn't even look over at him. His red eyes -- red like hers, and red like blood -- are fixed on Johnny. "Well. Bully for you, I suppose."

The boy's beauty is malignant -- normally he's such an effective little charmer even when he's being a prick. But now, he's... angry. He's wounded. Somehow this is obvious on a level beyond his snappish responses and his sullen expression. It's like having notes passed from the boy's soul.

"Johnny," Kaworu says, pushing off of the door and stepping forward. "Get over here. Right here. Now."

Johnny Domino is more than happy to comply with Kaworu's demand. The gunshot, the AT Field, the younger boy's anger... they do nothing to faze the Agent. As he stands up and walks towards Kaworu with light steps, Johnny has only one desire in mind: to become one with Kaworu Nagisa.

It doesn't matter that Cinco Budenda -- no, that Amuro Ray -- is in the room. It doesn't matter that Kaworu is younger, or a guy. It doesn't matter that Johnny has a girlfriend - someone he very much enjoys having sex with, it should be noted. And all those times Domino repeated these little factoids to himself -- that he's straight, he has a girlfriend, he's not gay, he likes /girls/ -- amount to nothing when faced with Nagisa's unnatural charisma.

Closer and closer he moves, guided by a higher power. The human portion in Johnny has been successfully subjugated by the Angel portion, and the Angel is hungry. So very hungry. Kaworu Nagisa can satiate that hunger. To become one, to merge body and spirit, to feel flesh against flesh, heart against heart, soul against soul. This is the ultimate goal, and has been so ever since the presence inside Domino woke up.

Now, coming to a halt in front of Kaworu, Johnny will claim what he wants. Or so he thinks.

"Well," Amuro breathes, teeth grit, "it was worth a shot."

The pun is almost assuredly unintended, considering the Hero of the One Year War's complete lack of a sense of humour.

The gun trembles in unsteady hands, and he puts it carefully back into its holster. The weapon is useless here. The boy-- no, he's not a boy, he's not human, he's not a /person/, Amuro tells himself-- the angel's AT field makes sure of that. But there has to be a way...

"Johnny..." Amuro grates, watching helplessly as the young Agent swans across the room, like a lamb to slaughter, all doe-eyed and enthralled. "You can... fight this!" Even as he says it, he knows that something is wrong. Kaworu's hold on Johnny is too strong. Why? Amuro can feel the strength of the pull, but mostly through the fragment of Angel soul embedded in him.

Then that must mean that Johnny... that grotesque presence within him... "You... you're tainted too..." he whispers. "Good god... Johnny, you have to get away from him!"

While Johnny moves forward, Kaworu turns his head to level a dead-eyed stare at Amuro. He doesn't say a word, but the message is clear, as if the words were printed on helpful cue cards: 'stay out of this,' they'd say, 'this is not for you.'

When Johnny does come dangerously near, Kaworu smiles, but it's a cold, cruel look. "Do you know what I did the other day, Johnny?" the Angel of Free Will asks. Before Johnny can make a guess, he continues: "I was walking with someone and we found a stray kitten in some wreckage. It was tiny, weak, malnourished. No mother to take care of it. Probably hadn't eaten in days. Probably wouldn't survive even if we took it in. Young, stupid, and helpless. A lot like you."

The insult is delivered with ice in Kaworu's voice.

"But you... you have a gift within you, Johnny. To say it's a 'gift,' though... implies that it was given. It wasn't. You /took/ it. You took it when it doesn't belong to you. And you've been squandering it. Using it selfishly. I thought if I let you... well, I thought wrong, in any event." Kaworu's hand comes up and cups Johnny's cheek. It's not a tender gesture.

"Do you know what I did to that kitten, Johnny?"

Amuro's words fall on deaf ears. There is no struggle, verbal or otherwise, when the Newtype encourages Domino to fight against Kaworu's sway. There is similarly no indignant response when Amuro uses the word 'tainted' to describe the Agent.

The grip that Adam's soul has over its children is far too powerful to broken by mere words.

When the younger boy cups Domino's cheek, Johnny gives himself to the touch. Like an abused lover who has long since become blind to the abuse, the Agent shivers, pressing against the palm and welcoming the unwelcome.

What did Kaworu do to the kitten?

"You killed it," says Domino. The words come out adoring, loving. Killing a kitten has never seemed so endearing before. "Snapped its neck. But your hands... are so soft..."

Johnny makes a sudden move, attempting to push Nagisa against the door and kiss him.

Amuro Ray pretty much makes a face that says 'ew, gross'.

When Johnny lunges forward to kiss him, Kaworu doesn't resist. His back bumps into the door and he lets himself be pinned, performing a kiss that lacks passion but nonetheless seems full of terrible portents -- a lot like a kiss that happened a month ago aboard the Minerva, when Johnny Domino was the one against the wall.

And sure enough, something happens. Not in Kaworu's pants, but it's something that earns the 'ew, gross' expression on Amuro's face -- something that causes the psychic to realize that something is going desperately, horribly wrong right now.

This is because Kaworu is not using the kiss as a mere make-out session -- no small swap of saliva, no simple tongue rodeo. Kaworu's kiss reaches deeper than that. There's a brief moment of exactly what Johnny Domino desires -- souls touching, the walls between the two crumbling in every meaningful sense.

And it would not be unsound to put money on it being one of the most terrifying experiences that human mind can be thrust into.

Kaworu isn't merging with Johnny. The walls aren't coming down benevolently. They're coming down so Kaworu can reach out to Johnny -- and /take/. His psychic grip on the Angel detritus in Johnny's soul is absolute -- and the extraction is like having molars ripped out at the root, but on a deeper, more metaphysical level.

All the Angels up until now, sixteen in number, have failed to accomplish what Johnny Domino is accomplishing now. No matter how hard they tried, and no matter what they threw at the Evangelion pilots and the pilots of NERV 3066, none of them have managed to rejoin with Adam.

How sad is it that a human succeeds where Angels fell. Even sadder still is the fact that the Angel inside Domino is but a shadow of its former self. The original being that sought to find peace within Adam's womb is no more, and it can not revel in this moment of triumph.

The kiss lengthens. Domino presses his body against Kaworu's, all too sensitive to the layers of fabric standing in the way of their heated rendezvous. The fact that Kaworu's own kiss is devoid of passion does little to discourage Johnny. All that matters is that it's finally happening.

Amuro will be the first to hear it. Even while kissing, Domino's soul begins screaming. Like being forced to undergo surgery while only half asleep, feeling every cut of the knife but being unable to react, the Agent's mind cries out into the wind, mute, paralyzed, helpless.

At some point Johnny begins clawing at the door on each side of Kaworu, fingernails scratching deep into the wood. Even as he keeps pinning the younger boy, Domino is beginning to struggle against the kiss. A moment longer and his hands begin shaking, knuckles growing white as the fingers curl in a sinister gesture. Is the moan that gets swallowed in the wet embrace of their lips one of pleasure or of pain?

And then, just as violently as it had started, it ends. In a complete reversal of his earlier lunge, Domino forcibly pushes himself away. He makes no sound. All he does is tumble back, landing roughly on the floor.

There is no need for any auditory update regarding the Agent's status, though. Johnny Domino's expression is worth a thousand words, and that's saying nothing of the mindscape Amuro Ray is privy to.

"Johnny!" Amuro shouts, lunging out of his chair and reaching for the fallen youth. "Johnny!" he shouts again, grabbing the Agent by the shoulders, shaking. "God damnit, kid!"

ELSEWHERE

Amuro Ray can see/feel Johnny Domino's soul as Kaworu Nagisa-- or rather, Adam-- rapes the shit out of it.

It is one of the hardest things he has ever watched/felt. The brutal, bloody separation of alien and human soul is not a prety thing.

The Angels have so firmly sunk their soul-nerve endings into Johnny Domino's self that their extraction is kind of like trying to pull a ten meter ringworm out of the most sensitive parts of a man's body. Flailing tentacles spray Domino's ectoplasm all over the collective unconscious, painting the softly glowing landscape with a Pollockian excess of everything that makes a human... human.

HERE

"What did you do..." Amuro Ray says softly, splittin his attention between Johnny and Kaworu. One hand twitches towards his gun, but he knows that's useless. Could he stand up to Adam on the empathic plane? Would his powers there, so overwhelming by human or Newtype standards, even match up to the will of an Angel?

More to the point, does he have a choice?

There's no telling what the felinic boy will do next. The White Devil tenses, waiting for the Angel's next move.

"I took away what was never his," Kaworu responds as Amuro Ray asks the magic question. The silver-haired Angel seems to have no further malicious intent -- indeed, he seems calmer now, less scowling and sullen. All the same, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and then puts his hands in his pockets.

Standing there, no offensive moves are made. No defensive ones, either. Kaworu regards the scene of Amuro and Johnny as dispassionately and boredly as a child looking at the dioramas on an unwanted field trip to a history museum. "He'll live."

Kaworu sighs gently. Even though Domino is convulsing on the floor down there, he's not an unmerciful man -- Angel -- boy -- something. He's not cruel, although he suspects the world would be easier to control if he was. He didn't take without compensation.

But Kaworu suspects Johnny will never get the chance to find out, so it's not like it matters, anyway.

"Anyway, I'm done." Kaworu shrugs, as if sorry to disappoint Amuro. There's no grand boss battle here. "If it's all the same to you, I think I'll go. But then, I'll be going either way."

Even if the situation had deteriorated into a boss battle scenario, Johnny Domino would have been as useless as a dead kitten.

Humans are fragile creatures. Their bodies can't take much before giving up. Apply a bit of pressure, or pierce the flesh in a strategic location, and it's all finished. The human spirit, on the other hand, can endure through some truly astonishing situations.

Even as he writhes on the floor, torn and broken, Johnny Domino's soul fights for survival. Self-preservation is one of humanity's most prominent traits, and Johnny wants to survive. From the bottom of his heart he fights.

His mind begins reconstructing itself, piecing together who he was and why he was. It is during this process of reclaiming his identity that Domino is assaulted by memories and pieces of knowledge that not too long ago he managed to take in stride. Unfortunately, without the Angel residue inside of him to give him strength, Domino can no longer face reality with a calm mind.

Details, both major and minor, weigh down on him.

Rei Ayanami is gone. She went to die. He hasn't found a way to save her. Time is running out. He just kissed a guy. Rei is an Angel. That guy is an Angel. He kissed him. He's dating a Meltrandi. He /slept/ with a Meltrandi! Cinco Budenda is Amuro Ray. Domino is betraying Admiral Scirocco and Sarah. And more, and more, and more...

Johnny Domino gurgles. Rolling over to his hands and knees, the young man throws up. Vomit and tears mingle on the floor.

Amuro Ray can feel the young Agent breaking down even as he reaches down, grabbing Domino's hair and pulling it out of the way of the torrent of phlegm and bile moments before it roars out of the youth's body. The White Devil has dealt with more than his fair share of vomit, and does not seem bothered by it-- not like he was bothered by two dudes kissing, at least.

Slowly he turns his eyes upwards to glower at the beautiful Angel again. Those eyes are not full of devotion, but rather hatred. Genuine hatred and anger-- and it's strong. The kind of hate only a true Newtype can muster. "Yeah, fine. You leave," he grates. "But this isn't over."

"Soon, perhaps," is Kaworu's answer to Amuro's promise. The collectedness of his demeanor endures, even through Newtype Hate Rays -- the power of Amuro's anger seems to roll off of Kaworu's back as casually as his AT Field stopped the bullet.

The graceful alien makes a quiet tutting sound as he takes one last look at Johnny Domino and the puddle of what was at one point food. Then he opens the hotel room door, and he leaves. No fanfare, no threats, no you'll-be-sorries. Just an exit.