2010-04-22 - If You Stand Up Like a Nail

Asuka Sohryu Langley. Second child. Second year high school student. And at the moment, class delinquent.

It wasn't fair that she had to go to school--not when that bitch Rei didn't have to! She had already graduated from college--and she was at the top of her class! What did it matter if she attending school like a NORMAL teenager? She didn't need to learn stupid kanji anyway?! Everyone at Nerv seemed to use English often enough!

So instead of attending classes, Asuka is currently sitting in front of the TV, dressed in a t-shirt and some questionably short shorts. At her side is a bag of potato chips, which she has commandeered for lunch. Occasionally, she will reach into the bag and grab a chip, eyes never moving from the made-for-tv movie on-screen as she pops it in mouth.

She wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for Misato's work schedule. Generally, the commander ended up going into work later in the day and pulled all-nighters at Headquarters. Thankfully, Misato's shift had been an early one, and she had rushed out of the house before Asuka had even sat down for breakfast. Off came the blue jumper and white blouse, replaced with her current casual attire. A few threats were issued to Shinji and after he left the house, she made herself comfortable in the living room of the apartment, watching movies.

It's just too bad she couldn't bully Hikari into cutting classes with her, too. Cutting classes seemed like such a waste when you were just stuck indoors by yourself.

The door to the apartment whisks open unannounced. It's one of those 'Oh, shit' moments -- Misato must be home early! Or Shinji, sent home for a spontaneous crying fit in class! Or--

Or the third, totally unpredictable option, which is what actually happens. Rei Ayanami steps through the doorway, wearing her full A-LAWS uniform and beret, her face an impassive mask like it always (or almost always) is. Rei walks straight through into the living room, pausing when she notices the television going. She wouldn't put it past any of the apartment's denizens, except perhaps Pen-Pen, to have forgotten to turn it off, but her gaze tracks over to where Asuka sits.

Rei's surprised face, as it turns out, is pretty much the same as her unsurprised face.

"Hello, Asuka," Rei says in her quiet, unassuming way. "Are you ill?"

At the sound of the door opening, Asuka immediately jumps to her feet. Sure, it might be that idiot Shinji deciding that he wants to cut class as well, but more likely it's Misato, coming home early from her shift. Asuka immediately begins fumbling for excuses, but any she may have conjured vanish when her gaze finally hits no other than Rei Ayanami.

"Well, now I am!" she shoots back. She's angry that she let herself be surprised, least of all by HER. "What are you doing here anyway?! I thought you'd be too busy with your important A-LAWS work than to bother with us COMMON, -NORMAL- pilots!"

What kind of person just walked into someone else's house without knocking, anyway?!

The kind of person who Misato gave a key, but Rei doesn't volunteer /that/ information.

Instead, when the blue-haired teen speaks, it's her usual brand of calmness in the face of Asuka's wrath. She doesn't seem bothered by the angry looks or the harsh tone or even the sarcasm. (Some would wonder if Rei even /gets/ sarcasm.) She stands there, arms hanging downward, perfect posture -- she looks like a hanger for her A-LAWS uniform as much as anything.

"I came here because I needed to speak to you," Rei says. She doesn't sound nervous in proclaiming this -- indeed, she sounds as normal and monotonous as if she were telling Asuka what the weather outside was like. "I intended to wait here until you got home from school. But since you are home, I don't have to wait."

Rei still doesn't move from the spot. What kind of person walks into someone else's house without knocking, and then just does a bizarre impersonation of a talking statue?

Answer: Rei Ayanami.

Asuka hated plenty of things. She hated the perverted boys at school. She hated Shinji for being one of them. She hated Misato for taking her Kaji away from her. But more than any of them, Rei Ayanami was the one person she hated the most. She was just a blank, emotionless doll, following orders like some kind of robot! And when she talked, it was even worse. Even the school computers' voice program had more emotion in its speech program than Rei Ayanami did!

"What could you possibly have to speak to ME about?!" she demands. Asuka folds her arms over her chest defensively. She avoided talking to Rei whenever she could help it, but recently, it seemed, the first children had plenty to talk to HER about. "This isn't about Shinji again, is it?!"

"No," Rei says flatly and swiftly in response to whether or not it's about Shinji. Well -- that settled that. Why, it almost sounds like Rei put a bit of authoritative emotion into that one. But that must be just a trick of the light.

Rei finally moves, walking to a different point in the room. As she walks, her head remains turned toward Asuka, no matter where her body is moving -- it's like her head is turning her body, rather than the other way around. Finally, when she stops, she seems...

...different.

Nervous?

"I need advice," Rei says quietly. "There is... a... boy that I want to..."

Definitely nervous.

"...to... express... an interest in."

Oh god.

Rei's face remains unchanged, but her lack of certainty comes through in a slight wavering of tone, and a general fragility that Asuka has probably never once seen in Rei before. "I don't know how."

"What?! You have someone YOU like?!" Asuka scoffs. She can hardly believe it! This unfeeling doll having someone that SHE likes? As if anyone could ever like an emotionless little robot like her! The only thing she was probably any good for was a hole for them to put their dick in! That was the only reason that Rei could have possibly had sex before SHE did!

"Don't you already have a boyfriend?!" she demands. "Or have the two of you broken up ALREADY?" There's more than just a hint of malice in Asuka's voice--but still, she seems to be enjoying it. Asuka's more than happy to take advantage of any opportunity to make virtually anyone else feel bad--especially Rei Ayanami.

Rei frowns. It's not a strong or distinctive frown, but it's there, nonetheless. Given her near-constant blankness, any change becomes all the more apparent. Especially when someone's focused on how doll-like Rei is.

"Leo terminated our relationship," Rei says, her tone as grey as a storm cloud.

Rei doesn't seem keen to stay on that topic, though. After a momentary pause, she speaks again, trying to steer the conversation back somewhere else. Anywhere else. "If you do not wish to help me... then I will leave." Rei isn't walking for the door /yet/, but seems like she might be about to at any moment. "I simply believed that you would know more about these things than me."

"Oh, well isn't that just terrible?!" Asuka's not being mocking at all! She mentally makes a note of Leo's recent change in relationship status, and begins to formulate the beginning of a plan to steal Leo away just long enough to trot him out in front of Rei. Asuka's steel determination is only hardened by the slight frown on Rei's face as she offers her explanation; he had to be her one weakness!

Still, Asuka knows a compliment when she sees one. And she'll humbly accept it, even if it is from a fetal alcohol syndrome child like Rei! "Of course," she says, flipping her red hair over her shoulder. "I know plenty of things about boys! What girl as popular as me WOULDN'T?"

There's your cue, Rei.

Rei Ayanami's cue is met with a long silence, as if the question had no answer. She stands there and stares at Asuka. Internally, she is recollecting her nerves and forcing her face back into neutral emotional no man's land. Outside, it just looks like she's being rude. Par for the course.

When Rei does speak, she seems to have gathered her wits back about her and redoubled her shielding, sounding as disaffected as ever. Despite this being a discussion about her own romantic pursuits (or whatever passes for that in Rei-Land), she sounds completely uninterested, as if the topic were boring her. Or maybe it's just the present company doing that.

"I also came to you because it's someone you know, and I thought that you might have... insight into how to approach the matter." Well, okay, that narrows it down. Kensuke, maybe? Like attracts like sometimes, and they're both, you know, retarded. Or maybe Toji, fulfilling the teen drama archetype of the outcast's crush on the brash jock? "After all, you have spent extended periods in confinement with him."

There's /your/ cue, Asuka.

As Rei quietly stares at her, rage slowly begins to boil under her skin. What was she just looking at her like that for?! Didn't she think she was popular?! Because if she didn't think she was popular, well she should probably check out all the love letters she received when she first transfered to Tokyo-03 Junior High!

If she wanted to act like that, fine! Asuka would show her! The second she revealed to her the recepient of her affections, she'd steal him away! That'd show HER who was popular!

Asuka had it narrowed down to a few select guys before Rei uttered her final line; Shinji would have been a contestant if Rei hadn't insisted that this had nothing to do with the Unit-01 pilot. Which pretty much left only Kennsuke and Touji and maybe--

"After all, you have spent extended periods in confinement with him."

Asuka's eyes widen with momentary surprise and for one moment, the redhead is completely silent.

And in the next, she's screaming.

"You think you can have everything you want, don't you?!" She swings an arm out in front of her--not close enough to hit the blue-haired girl. Not yet, anyway. "You get to live by yourself! You get to drop out of school! You get your own boyfriend! And when all that's not enough, you get to go join the A-Laws!"

Asuka is clearly fuming.

"But you're not just satisfied with that! Then you have to take Shinji, too! And now you have your eyes set on Johnny Domino?!" Her arms tremble at her side; it's taking everything in her power to keep her from striking Rei Ayanami, and right now, it's quickly looking as though the satisfaction as sending Rei flying to the ground is worth the punishment she'll inevitably get from Misato.

Rei has met Asuka before.

And yet, somehow, she didn't see this coming!

Rei's complete ignorance of any feelings between Asuka and Johnny -- one-way or otherwise -- puts her at a complete disadvantage when the redhead explodes like a volcano. When Asuka lashes out at the air, Rei instinctively takes a step back. Her lips curl down gently into a frown -- not of concern, but more in general response to the mood the conversation has taken on, like an animal's sensitivity to the tone of the room it's in.

But 'sensitive' is never really a word that can describe Rei, when considered in a more conventional sense. Her lips part just a bit like she's about to say something, but then Asuka goes off again, accusing her of taking Shinji, then Johnny. She remains one step back, and there's an awkward stretch of silence where Rei seems to have no idea what to say.

"A-Asuka," Rei stumbles, the stammer mixing poorly with her monotone.

Then, Rei takes a step forward, and another. Toward Asuka. Her gaze has leveled out. The thing is, Rei-3 has access to the full range of human emotions, really. That's something her predecessor never really managed. But without a lifetime to prepare her for it -- sixteen is a tough time for everyone -- Rei doesn't know how to /manage/ these emotions. That's why she pulls back, tries to suppress them at any cost, until they boil over, and she can't. And what Rei feels right now is -- anger. Resentment. And maybe that's why she says what she says:

"Perhaps if you weren't so selfish and bitter, you would receive the attention you crave."

Asuka's almost perpetually in a state of irritation. Aside from the few calm moments she spends with Hikari or Mr. Kaji (quite possibly the only two people in the entire world that she can stand!), she's always agitated. Always angry. And Rei Ayanami had the ability to provoke rage in Asuka by the sheer virtue of existing.

So, when for the first time, Rei Ayanami dares to speak back to her, Asuka Sohryu Langley explodes. Any thought of punishment is thrown out the window as she lunges towards the blue-headed girl, letting out a string of curses in German that would make even the most battle-hardened AS pilot blush.

She tackles Rei to the ground. And once she has the smaller girl pinned, she pulls her arm back, then throws it forward towards Rei's face. If Rei doesn't make a move to stop her, Asuka will continue, bombarding the girl-pilot with punch after punch.

That's the funny thing -- Rei's getting all this training. Learning to get in shape. Learning to eat better, to do sit-ups, to run, to free-climb a rope, all this stuff. But for all the emphasis on getting her in shape, the military... never really ever bothered trying to teach her how to fight. Asuka is no ninja, herself -- but her sheer fury gives her an advantage that the hopelessly untrained and still pretty unfit Rei couldn't possibly hope to match.

So when Asuka screams and lunges and tackles her to the ground -- Rei goes down, smashing into the coffee table. The table breaks her fall. It also just /breaks/. Empty cans, old styrofoam takeout boxes, and even older stacks of TV listings topple everywhere, turning the site of Rei's collapse into a miniature landfill. With Asuka on top of her, Rei could probably fairly easily throw her off, or bring a knee up, or do something. Anything.

But Rei does nothing.

The blue-haired girl's arms stay at her sides. She's not even sprawled properly. She lays there like a doll, limbs parallel.

The only thing that moves on Rei is her head. In Asuka's fury, the punches aren't well-aimed. Some hit Rei's face. Some hit her neck. Some hit her temples, or the crown of her head. Some hit her shoulders or her upper chest. Her beret fell off in the tumble. Her jacket is coarse and heavy, designed to protect against all manner of environmental conditions. It scrapes Asuka's fine, fair knuckles. Rei is so pale that bruises begin to rise almost immediately. Her lip splits, and blood drools down her chin in a thin stream.

But she doesn't do /anything/.

Rei's head rocks from side to side with each blow, but she never once closes her horrible red eyes. She never once stops staring at Asuka, even when a fist strikes her right in the open eye.

Asuka herself isn't especially athletic. She's not the worst at sports, but she hasn't had the training that Rei or Shinji have had--and she has no interest in doing so, either. The last thing she wants is to have thick muscles or calloused hands.

Her knuckles are wet with blood; whether it's Rei's or her own, she can't tell. No matter how many times she strikes her, Asuka can't seem to rouse a reaction from her. The only purpose Rei's unblinking red eyes serve is to make her even angrier. She throws one fist at one of them, and still, Rei gazes up at her, unmoving.

"Why do you keep looking at me?!" she screams between punches. "All you do is sit there staring like some kind of doll! No matter how many times...!!"

She raises her arm back one final time, but this time, her fist misses its mark, landing just to the right of Rei's face; the wood beneath her fist splinters, and for the first time since she began throwing punches, Asuka realizes that some of the blood on her hands is her own.

Asuka tilts her head, her bangs obscuring her eyes as she stays, still atop the younger pilot. "You can't do anything for yourself," she says, trembling slightly. "So why do you always get what you want?"

Rei still doesn't move when Asuka stops punching. If it weren't for her heavy, labored breathing -- audible gulps of air into her mouth, followed by wet, horse-like snuffles coming from her bloody nostrils -- it might seem like Asuka had killed her.

The silence goes on for ages. Or maybe it just seems like ages, considering.

Finally, with a fat lip and a creaking, weak voice that matches her battered, bloodied visage, Rei whispers:

"...I... don't... want... any of it. I don't... want... anything..."

Asuka lifts herself to her feet and looks down at Rei with something akin to contempt. If Rei thinks she can gain sympathy just by pretending that she doesn't want any of the things she has, she's sadly mistaken.

Asuka spins on heel, and stomps away. For a few seconds, the sound of running water can be heard from the kitchen. Then shortly after that, the sound of a door opened, and then being slammed.

The TV's still on when Asuka leaves, but she doesn't care. She doesn't care about Misato's coffee table, which was just replaced last week. But most of all she doesn't care about that little bitch Rei, who lays on top the coffee table's splinters, bleeding and bruised from the weight of her fury.

Rei does indeed lay there for a long, long time.

The beaten blue-haired teen doesn't even think about the pain she's in, which is considerable. She can feel her face deforming as bruises balloon and press up against each other, but it doesn't feel important.

What she thinks about is whether or not she meant her last words to Asuka.

She wishes she could say the answer is 'yes, of course.'

But she just doesn't know anymore.